I’m stuck. I’m stressed! What do I do now?
Before we get into the details of the subject line, I have a question…
What physical impulses surged from your brain to your fingertips to hit “open?”
What thoughts crept in?
For some it may have been concern or perhaps relatability, but for some of you…most of you….it was probably some down home human CURIOSITY. Am I right?!?
Welcome to this month's topic….(hint hint in ALL CAPS above) and my favorite tool to EMPOWER clients, but also one I use personally EVERYDAY. I even have a name I have assigned to this part of myself. I call her the “Curious Seeker” and what a bestie she’s become in my life. We are inseparable.
In this mysterious journey we call life, we ALL get stuck, stressed and lose our way.
Curiosity opens us up. It opens ME up multiple times a day.
It helps us put a pin in our suffering and our story for a minute, so we can bypass the “I’m stuck receptors” and step into the magic of F L O W, possibility and creativity.
It’s my most useful tool, forcing questions like:
I am feeling hopeless today, but yesterday I was on fire. What’s different?
Triggers hijack me and my productivity. What’s the common thread to these triggers?
When I’m frustrated, what is MY part in the story?
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Lately, I’ve been experimenting with how I see myself. Specifically viewing myself as an artist. Actually, viewing ALL of us as artists of our own domain. (i.e. seeing a nurse as a care artist, an accountant as a numbers artist and so on…)
And like many artists, who often get inspiration from their pain, they evoke in us something that moves us. And because they got curious about that pain and how to creatively channel it, we get to reap the benefits.
Have you ever read a book that inspires you to go start a dream project?
Listened to a song that had you dancing in sweaty circles?
Watched a movie that triggered you to take action on a cause?
Or saw a painting that made you weep?
What if we took the pain of our lives and saw it as the “canvas” to grow?
What if we saw challenges as opportunities to get curious about what the pain is teaching us?
On social media and podcast interviews, I’ve talked a lot about “triggers and *grief being our best teachers.” Knowing we are all different when we move through challenging life events, we need to welcome all of our emotions and nothing is linear. Acceptance for anything that needs to come up is key…AND it can be really effective to bring in curiosity.
Just try it.
Then journal about it.
And see how you feel after.
Here’s what Research Professor, Brené Brown says on the topic:
“It’s so much easier to offload pain, then to feel pain. You really have a choice. Curiosity is really the super power for the second half of our lives. Because it keeps us learning, it keeps us asking questions and it increases our self awareness.”
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Each day I am humbled and grateful to be able to empower clients to navigate major life transitions. Things like career changes, job loss, divorce or retirement to name a few. To enable them to process their longing for a life more fulfilled, break old patterns, map out a path of better choices and TAKE ACTION.
Working through that “stuckness” is a key component to finding your flow again and a coach will lead you to:
Objectively see where you are getting in your own way
Reveal your blindspots
Mirror back to you what you’re projecting
Serve as your confidant
You would be surprised at how many people are shocked when they realize what they SAY is not how they really FEEL. You get to the truth of who you are in the most nurturing way and not in years of work, but rather, weeks or months.
You begin to FLOW better. Your peace returns. Your confidence is back.
What’s one thing you’ve been stuck on this week that you could use the “tool of curiosity” as your compass?
Let me know how it goes, ok?
*The word “grief,” is a tricky one. It shows up in all sorts of ways and as the result of many different forms of loss. I felt it helpful to note that grief is not just bereavement, which is a common misconception. Stay tuned for next month's topic on “Loss Of Self.”